From the Ponoka News :
Police Blotter
Jul 05 2006
During the week of June 26th to July 3th, (a.ka.: the Ponoka Stampede) police responded to over 290 complaints and requests for assistance. 98 people visited our cell block during that time. 20 more that last year at this time.
Undoubtedly you’ll be able to read all about the high-lights of this year’s Ponoka Stampede elsewhere in this fine newspaper. Here are some of the low-lights (or dim lights, if you will).
Most were Stampede related, but not all.
The record for most cell block visits over the Stampede by one person: 8. Quite a feat when you consider that the Stampede is only 6 days long. The first 7 were for being Drunk In a Public Place. Apparently she wanted to avoid an 8th DIPP arrest by doing her drinking in a residence. Only it wasn’t her residence and the last charge was for Break and Enter.
A well known young offender was observed climbing the fence into the Midway after hours. In doing so he breached 9 of his 10 release conditions in one transaction. A new Ponoka record!
This week a 45 year old man was lodged in the tank for being drunk and disorderly at the arena beer gardens. Great big guy. Strong as an ox. A “farmer” he proclaimed. He could really shake the walls when he pounded his fists into that solid steel cell door. This made for an interesting juxtaposition in that he apparently misinterpreted his Charter Rights. He must have thought we said “You have the right to retain and instruct mother” because he kept demanding to call her. So much so, that the other drunks in the tank finally had enough and he had to be quickly removed to protective custody for his own safety.
The toughest ombre police had to wrassle with this year was not the 7 foot giant we traditionally have to scrap with or any other gargantuan raging bull of a cowboy. This year it was a 5'4", 140 lb woman that bit, kicked, scratched and slapped her way through 3 five second discharges of the taser before being brought under control. Charges for her performance are still under consideration.
Strange 911: “Male riding bike. Intoxicated dog running beside him. Concerned he will cause an accident”. Who? The pickled pooch???
Stranger 911: “Male harassing and bugging caller. Male who’s friend just got arrested told caller not familiar with guy who’s friend was just arrested he said that’s fine don’t worry about it and thank you” (call disconnected). If you can figure out what this means ... let us know.
Strangest 911: “Man is trying to sleep in his camper and cannot sleep with all the racket. Wants police to make patrols. Seems to be a lot of drunks nearby”. He followed this by providing a detailed description of his present camping spot. Tell him that he should probably expect more of the same for the next several hours since he has chosen to camp in the Arena Parking lot (during beer gardens).
Strange thing to run into on the QE2: A wicker chair.
Strangest thing to run into on the QE2: A porcupine. What’s strange about that?. The half smashed driver (who rolled his former pal’s new SUV) said it was a deer.
Police received a complaint of an intoxicated or high woman causing a disturbance at a Riverside residence. Before police arrived they were alerted to the fact that she was now naked and hiding in a small wooded area. Ponoka’s newest Rookie member searched for her and brought her back to the police car and to his Field Training Officer. He appeared to be quite proud of himself for being able to locate her and making the arrest. His FTO asked, “what’s the big deal? How many naked girls were in there anyway?”. Oh and by the way, Cst.YAWORSKI ... just because someone has an identical twin brother doesn’t mean that he has the same prison tattoo’s too!
This week a man called police to complain that an unknown man (who just got out of prison) was admiring his $2500.00 ring had just stolen it from him. When asked for further detail he said that the suspect had asked to see it, he took it off and gave it to him (the guy who just got out of prison, the guy he doesn’t know) and surprisingly he ran off with it. We found the suspect and he did have the ring. He said he was given it as security on a $20.00 drug dept. The ring was returned to the owner and neither had much to say about anything thereafter.
Most dangerous duty this Stampede: Guarding the 600 or so cans of Budweiser which had scattered themselves upon the ground at the entrance to the arena after having fallen off the back of the delivery truck. The owner, the driver and some trustworthy Samaritan’s triaged the fatally wounded ones from the ones which were dented but otherwise fit for duty. Many thanks to those people who stopped to help clean up the mess while police were busy turning down an army of people offering to put the wounded ones out of their misery and let them go down in the line of duty.
This year I almost made it through the entire Stampede without having some yahoo yak up the collected contents of his stomach in the back of my police car. I was bragging about this to my peers just before my last official call of the Stampede. Oh well, better luck at Stampede 07. I’m spending the next three weeks with my favourite five people on the planet but if you have information about any unsolved crime or ongoing criminal enterprise, you can still call the Ponoka RCMP at 783-4472 or call Crime Stoppers at 1-800-222-TIPS, where you are anonymous and we are beholden to you.
© Copyright 2006 Ponoka News
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